Cain and Abel

Cain and Abel

I was thinking about Cain and Abel, a pair of young lads who lived a long time ago. Might even be distant relatives. Cain and Abel lived someplace east of Negley. Maybe even past Wampum, Pennsylvania, or some exotic place farther away, like east of Pittsburgh. Those places are so far from my home here near the Ohio border that the distance is foggy—as is my memory of the brothers.

As I understand it Abel didn’t like his younger brother usurping his prerogatives. He didn’t like the stinky newcomer horning in and taking both nipples, bad enough if he took one. At any rate, Able took severe corrective action and lowered the boom—like bumped off poor Cain. I understand that he clobbered the sassy little snot with the jawbone of an ass.

As I recall from my reading of the good book, Abe’s mother stole apples and Abe learned about crime. Perhaps Abel taught his distant cousin Sam the same trick. Samson slew himself a passel of people with the jawbone of an ass, so the good book says. Good thing his significant-other pulled his hair out. That seemed to subdue the raging testosterone.

It is nice that they didn’t have AK47s, Stingers and Drones. Poor Adam might have had his apples pruned.

Uncle Sam

His great-great-great uncle SAM in Washington learned of the stunt. Now they still smite each other and us poor constituents that way. In the meantime, the rest of the world is preparing to give Uncle Sam a good economic haircut for economic malfeasance.

I had best go to bed before I get too involved. The folks in D.C. do have methods of mass destruction and they might smote or smite the jaw bone of another ass.